3 Steps Of The Sandwich Technique To Change Your Child’s Behavior
Children behave in a way that can often make parents lose their temper. It is quite common for a child to have bad behavior, but always, bad behavior will be indicating unmet emotional needs in children, and that parents have the obligation to identify in order to guide their children emotionally.
There is an increasingly widespread tool for working with children who disobey, hit, or behave somewhat inappropriately. It is called ‘the sandwich technique’ and it is a very useful technique because it has nothing to do with punishments, but with praise. Children receiving positive reinforcement from praise will improve their behavior almost automatically.
The sandwich technique to improve child behavior
The sandiwch technique is a technique that puts punishments aside and is based on positive criticism, that is, on constructive criticism. Before saying something negative to your children, it is important to soften that comment and send it as a positive message and it is better to do it in the form of praise. This technique has three fundamental steps that must be taken into account in order to be able to perform it correctly.
Give a sincere compliment
Praise should be sincere because kids are adept at finding out whether a person is telling the truth or not. Before telling a child to change the behavior in a negative way, it is best to start the sentence with a compliment that is brief and sincere. For example, you can say something like: ‘You know how to behave very well, darling …’ This way the child will receive the message in a positive way from the beginning.
Ask him to change his behavior
After starting with a compliment, it is very important to ask the child exactly what needs to change. It is time to explain what is expected of him and what behavior he can improve. In this technique, the praise must be launched and after a few seconds, say a ‘but’ or some connector in the sentence, and then launch the request for a change in behavior. For example: ‘You know how to behave very well, darling, that’s why you don’t need to shout, you can say things more calmly.’
After making the request, you should explain why it is important to change the behavior, for example: ‘If you yell it does not mean that I will hear you before, yelling makes you nervous and we cannot speak well, so it is necessary that you speak more calmly ‘. Afterwards, it is important to repeat what is the expected behavior for it to perform.
Be grateful for good behavior
It should never be taken for granted that children should behave well because it is their obligation, they should know that adults are grateful for good behavior. Whenever a child is capable of modifying his behavior, he must learn that he is not doing it to satisfy the parents and that’s it, but because it is necessary to learn good behavior to improve skills.
At the end of the process it is important to end with a positive message after asking for the behavior change (ask, not demand). In this sense, it is a good idea to end by saying something like: ‘Thank you very much for having said things more calmly, so we have been able to speak much better’. You can also make a future wish. ‘When you get angry, tell me and we will find a solution together.’
The sandwich technique is suitable for use with boys and girls of any age. It is a positive technique that reinforces not only the child’s positive behavior, but also self-confidence.
The child will feel valued, loved, and most importantly: respected. Children will learn to make correct decisions for themselves and also, they will learn to take responsibility for their own actions.
With this technique you will be able to help your children to understand good behaviors and also, for them to decide how to behave thanks to your guide full of love and affection. Also, by starting with a positive message you will be conditioning yourself in a positive way and will avoid falling into hasty anger or inappropriate and impulsive punishments.
