6 Keys To Living With A Teenage Son
It is no secret that adolescence is a difficult time. Living with an adolescent child can generate a lot of instability in the family environment and, finally, it can end up seriously deteriorating the relationship between parents and children. Therefore, in this article you will find a series of keys that facilitate a quality family life.
Living with a teenage son, what to do?
1. Show interest in your daily life
As in any type of relationship, it is necessary to show interest in the hobbies and life events of the other, in the relationships of parents and children it is also necessary. Listening and interest in the other is the key to building trust in interpersonal relationships.
Adolescents need to feel heard by their parents. Ask them daily about what is new or not so new in their life: how are their friends doing, what do they like to do, etc. And finally, let them know that they are counting on you when they are in trouble.
2. Respect their space
By respecting your space, it not only refers to the fact of respecting your privacy in your room, but also refers to a respect for your privacy in all aspects.
As has been pointed out, it is good that you ask them about their friendships, their tastes and their daily life. However, they should not share everything with you. We all need some intimacy, especially teenagers, who are at a stage where they must discover and define themselves.
3. Make sure your message gets through
No matter how many times we repeat or think that we have clearly expressed our order or desire, we cannot assume that our message has reached them. Furthermore, we cannot expect them to act without us having previously and expressly requested it, no matter how obvious it may be to us.
Avoid suggestions and recommendations and, of course, unfinished orders and wishes. You must ask them exactly what you want them to do or answer or just what you want them to know, such as an important date or an appointment.
4. Exercise your authority only when necessary
Pediatrician Carlos González advises reserving authority for serious problems, that is, when it is really necessary. If you frequently show anger and authority, even with trifles and trivialities, your teenager will get used to seeing you like this and will think that it is part of your personality.
On the other hand, if you only bring out your authority as a mother or father at critical and important moments, your child will understand that this is a truly serious matter, facilitating their understanding.
5. Teach them to negotiate, key to living with a teenage son
The fact that you and your child do not agree on everything is completely normal and, you could even say that it is healthy. However, confrontations during adolescence can lead to real family conflict. And, without a doubt, the most effective way to resolve this type of situation is through negotiation.
Teaching her that conflicts are resolved through healthy negotiation, that is, one in which both parties win, is key to living with a teenager. Not only will it help to manage the conflict without damaging your relationship, but, in addition, the adolescent will be learning a series of very valuable social skills for their future personal and work life.
6. Give them a chance to say ” no”
In principle, it is true that children and adolescents must understand from an early age that they must respect and obey their mother or father for the simple fact of being one. However, we must also give them the opportunity to learn to say ” no”, crucial for the development of their personality and critical thinking.
González points out that adolescents must learn that they have the right to say “no” and, for their part, parents must respect their children’s refusals. In addition, it is healthy that they are questioned, both for the child-parent relationship and for the adolescents’ own personality.
Living with a teenage son: make an effort to get to know him and let him know
There is a general opinion that adolescence is a time of constant struggle against parents. However, despite this facade of apparent coldness, the reality is that adolescents, deep down, need to feel the affection and attention of their parents.
They should know that their parents care about what they think or feel, and that they really care about their lives. In short, they like that their parents make an effort to get to know them, one of the greatest displays of affection that they value the most.
