6 Tips Not To Spoil Children Too Much
All parents, for one reason or another, sometimes fall into the trap of giving our children everything they ask for. We think that, in this way, they will be happier, and that if we don’t, we don’t show our affection. In this article we talk about some tips to avoid spoiling children too much.
“I want to see three movies this afternoon” , ” buy me …” , “I want that toy”, “leave me the tablet” … And so a lot of requests. These little details that you allow to avoid a tantrum, not to hear them cry or even to avoid embarrassment in front of other people, are not at all harmless.
If we agree to all these or other requests, despite believing otherwise, we are harming their development. Not to frustrate a child is to make it a spoiled child.
For what reason are children capricious?
At certain ages it is normal for children to have capricious behavior. During the first years, the little ones are guided by an instinct of belonging. For example, objects that catch your eye, even if they are not yours, you will want to have them no matter who they are. Their security and confidence is owning what they like.
Once the ‘Oedipus complex’ stage is over, children already begin to acquire moral values and rules taught by parents. These rules help you control that selfish behavior and learn about responsibility and empathy.
Tips not to spoil children too much
Plan goals
They must respect their routine, homework and school work. It is very important that children have organized all their days, since this will regulate their distribution of time to be able to carry out the activities they want to do during that day.
Manage frustration so as not to spoil children too much
Children get anxious and irritable when they can’t do something, and that’s where we parents give them a treat to calm them down. But this we must not do; it is better to give them something that relaxes them, like a toy, read them a book, play with them… Anything that takes that idea out of their heads.
Use educational consequences
These consequences are an alternative to punishment, but in a more positive way. In this way, children learn what they have done wrong and how to repair the damage they have caused with their behavior.
Explain differences between need and want
Children still do not have the mental capacity to understand some concepts, so, through drawings, stories or examples, you can explain the differences between wanting something because they liked it and something that they need for their development.
Teach the value of things not to spoil children too much
One of the best ways to combat your innate selfishness is to appreciate what you have. Encourage them to use their things more and to give those toys that they do not use to other children who, due to certain circumstances, may not be able to have them.
Ask why they want it
If we know the reasons why the child has asked for something, we will know if it is on a whim or has reasons to want it. You can ask him these questions to find out why he wants it: “Can you have it later?” “Is there something to replace it?”
Consequences of spoiling children too much
Anxiety
If children have everything, in the end, they end up getting lost in the pile. Sometimes it is beneficial for children to become frustrated so that they can resist within society.
Depression in adolescence
As the child grows, his level of demand also increases. You no longer want a toy, but a high-end computer or tablet . If he doesn’t succeed, it is very possible that he will become aggressive and will not be able to control his emotions. Therefore, by consenting, all you do is raise depressed teenagers.
Intolerant people
Frustration is a process that children have to experience as a way of learning. If you spoil the little one too much, what you will be raising is an intolerant person. As a result, in the future you will not know how to strive to achieve what you want and that every effort will lead to a reward that, otherwise, you will not get.
As you can see, it is very important not to spoil children too much. This does not mean that you do not give gifts, but that they have to earn them with their actions and take responsibility for their actions. A spoiled child can be a dependent adult and base relationships solely on interest to satisfy his whims. It is important that we avoid pampering so that today’s children will be healthy adults tomorrow.
