How And Why To Involve The Father In The Care Of The Children
Many mothers complain that the father is not involved in the care of the children. Yet few women realize that many men are – or at least feel – left out when the baby arrives. Without realizing it, we women bear the full responsibility of caring for the baby and we do not unilaterally make decisions about raising children.
This exclusion causes many men to disengage from caring for their children and show no interest in taking sides beyond “what is commanded” or what, due to culture or education, they have observed throughout their lives. .
Many studies show that the father plays an important role in the development of his child. Therefore, it is necessary to involve the father in raising the children, and not as a way to help the mother, but because, in addition to being a shared responsibility, it is important for the education and upbringing of the children. kids.
How the father can be involved in the care of his children
Here are some ideas for fathers to feel more involved in caring for their children. In addition to feeling responsible for the upbringing of his children, the father may feel important and valued.
Feed the baby
A baby that is fed from its mother’s breast must obviously be fed by its mother. But when the baby takes a bottle or when he begins to take solids, he can also be fed by his father.
The importance of feeding the baby is that it creates a bond. The baby will learn to trust the person who feeds him, since that person satisfies one of his most basic needs. In addition, it is an ideal time to hug the child, to feel skin to skin, to look at each other and to say nice things.
On the other hand, the father, in addition to feeding his child, must learn to prepare the bottle, the porridge or the food that he is going to take, without depending on anyone having to do it. Only then will you begin to feel safe and fully responsible.
Bathing and dressing the baby
The father must participate from the beginning in the basic care of the baby, such as changing the diaper, bathing or dressing him. Mothers should allow the father to take part in this and to do it alone, without supervision.
The problem for many men is not that they do not know how to do these things, but that the women in the family make them feel useless because they constantly correct them. But no one is born taught or with a “baby sitter” gene. Both the father and the mother are perfectly capable of learning, and it is not because they are male or female that they are capable of doing these things better or worse.
C hen participates dad in the daily routines of the baby favors the link and makes parents develop interest in other issues that will come later, as the decision-making related to learning and respect for the rules established home about to the education of children.
Spending time alone with your children
Parents should spend time alone with their children, but not just playtime, but they should have other kinds of moments. Study times, going out to do things together, going for a walk or a hike, reading with them or talking about their things are some examples of ways to spend time together without mom.
The parents will feel more confident in this way, they will be able to show their most personal side and share exclusive things with their children, to have their secrets. This way, parents will know their children better and their children will know their father better. This bond will promote interest, respect and responsibility.
The importance of the role in the development of children
Parents play an important role in the development of the child from birth to adulthood. In fact, numerous studies have come to the same conclusion: Children with participating parents have both a social and academic advantage over children who were in distant or unrelated relationships with their parents.
Research from the University of Maryland found better language skills and fewer behavior problems in children with a parent actively involved in their education. Interestingly, this result turned out to be true even if the father did not live in the same house as the child.
A study conducted at the University of Illinois found that children with parents who take the time to ask their children about what they have learned in school and about their daily activities and social relationships do better in school than children who do not. type of relationship with their parents.
It highlights the fact that, according to this research, it does not matter if it is a biological father, but that this can happen with any adult male (a grandfather, an uncle, a stepfather).
