Mom, Keep Me Close To Your Skin, Close To Your Soul … Detached From Fears

Mom, don’t hesitate to allow your baby to grow close, very close to you, skin to skin, breath to breath, soul to soul. Allow him to be very close to you for at least the first three years. In this way, you will give the world a strong and brave child, a person detached from fear.

In our space we talk to you very often about the importance of fostering that close upbringing where we encourage physical contact with the baby. It is the best stimulus with which to enhance the development of the child, with which to confer safety and well-being and with which, in addition, to promote neuronal connectivity in the face of the quality of the stimuli: tactile, vocal, olfactory, sensory …

Well, this time we want to go beyond the maturational field of the child to talk about their primary instincts and the importance of promoting an upbringing “detached from fear”. We know that today the word “attachment” is used very frequently, but it is convenient to clarify terms.

In the field of personal growth, “attachment” relates to our fixation on owning things or letting those things or those ties veto our freedom or identity. For its part, in the context of upbringing, attachment is stated within the classic Bowlby theory, where we are reminded of the importance of building a strong and secure bond with the child to promote their growth, their self-esteem, their secure relationship to the time independent with their parents and the environment that surrounds them.

Today in our space we want to propose the following: promote close attention and that skin-to-skin union with your baby to create a positive attachment, because it is in this way that in the long term, we will make that little one grow “detached” from fears, of insecurities, low self-esteem …

Fear is the most relevant instinct in the newborn’s brain

If there is a safe, perfect and comfortable place, it is without a doubt the mother’s womb. Nothing bad happens here, everything is serene, everything is warm, satisfying and predictable. However, the birth itself already alerts the newborn to the strange world to which it has ended.

• The first thing he feels is that he is torn from inside his mother, that strangers reach him, bathe him, weigh him, manipulate him …

Later, after meeting and feeling his mother for the first time, he notices how every so often he is taken to a cradle in solitude, in the dark. .. Fears loom over him again and he experiences the terror of abandonment and the feeling of that he will not be able to survive …

I was just born and everything scares me

The baby is born with a completely immature brain. Inside, only instincts and needs rule, and all you’re looking for is feeling safe, loved, and nurtured.

• During the first months, if there is something that really scares the newborn, it is separating from his mother. He is not yet able to understand that just being left in the crib does not mean being abandoned, he does not understand that if at a given moment he does not feel the warmth of his mother, it does not mean that something bad is going to happen to him.

Fear in babies is a natural reaction with a single purpose: to help them adjust. Let us therefore avoid intensifying it much more …

The “detachment” of fears, an essential daily investment

Experts in parenting and child psychology tell us that about 35 percent of babies develop insecure attachments. Growing up in an environment where parents do not favor that emotional attention, that comfort early on, where crying is not attended or where children perceive that they cannot count on their caregivers when they need them, is something that undoubtedly creates a serious impact on their minds.

An insecure attachment makes children very dependent, that they are always “attached” to insecurity, anxiety, that anger that they do not know how to channel and little by little disobedience, resentment or challenging behaviors appear.

How to encourage “detachment” from fear in your child

Understand that a baby has infinite needs that must be understood and cared for. 

• Also, keep in mind that each baby is unique and that sometimes, there are little ones much more demanding and in need of attention than others.
• Take care of their cries.
• Always have him close to you. If you work and spend part of the day outside, when you get home feel free to use the classic baby carrier to place it close to your skin and your chest.
• Understand all their emotions, do not sanctions or intensify them even more, it is about being patient, always being close, affectionate and consistent with the rules.
• Know their fears.
• It promotes that little by little, they tolerate frustration.

Finally, do not forget to encourage them good self – esteem , show them that you trust them, they see in you that person, that wonderful and essential figure in their lives always going to give them security, encouragement, affection, closeness …