Respect Between Mother And Child
Respect between parents and children is essential to achieve a solid bond, a healthy relationship and a beautiful feeling capable of growing over time. However, the road may be less easy than we thought, and when our son disrespects us, many times we do wrong.
In a situation of disrespect, the best we can do is teach. Yes, of course it takes a lot not to react negatively, but we will achieve much more if we control ourselves and teach instead of yelling and punishing our child (ren).
No father or mother is born learned. Below we are going to help you prepare properly for all those situations in which you might need to teach your child (ren) respect without disturbing your inner peace and without resorting to bad temper.
Our most common reactions
When an adult is faced with a situation of disrespect from their child (ren), they will generally do two things:
- Shut up and be stunned / paralyzed. (state of shock)
- React negatively. (impulsiveness) -> In this case, the situation is magnified by acting in an exaggerated way, through violent demonstrations, shouting and finally, imposing punishments on the child.
Many times the mistake of imposing and demanding respect is made when perhaps it is something that has not been sown clearly and assertively in the relationship between parents and children. Therefore, the most important step is to begin to respect the child, pay attention to him and understand him in the situations he is going through according to his age and needs.
The contrast of opinions and perceptions will help both of you to better cope with the situation between you and move forward.
Dialogue is the key to a good relationship
Respect is undoubtedly one of the most important values that you should teach your children, since it is a value that is reciprocal: it is given with the intention of being received. EYE! It is not about thinking that if you give your child respect, you are raising him above you, it is about getting closer to him and trying to understand what he thinks or feels.
Talk to your child. Find an opportune moment, sit together quietly to talk. Make sure it happens in a space and time in which both of you feel as comfortable as possible. But above all, the important thing is to have a positive attitude in which you seek to understand each other and seek solutions.
Our advice is that you respond patiently to your child’s concerns. This will always be the best way to make your children feel respected and find a good model of respect in you. Who better than parents to teach their children about this? Who knows if they both end up growing bigger than they could ever imagine?
Learn to make a difference
One of the things we must do as parents is learn to make a difference through rules. In this regard, the most important thing is that you yourself be the first to respect these rules, assume them and teach your children to follow them without this disturbing you.
Here are some tips to make a difference in a positive way:
- Follow and respect your own rules.
- Be consistent, it is important so that the child does not feel disoriented when you indicate things. Otherwise, they won’t take you seriously.
- Set the boundaries clearly and explain why. EYE! You must understand that children love to test limits, it is their way of experimenting. This is not a personal offense directed at you. Therefore, by establishing clear limits and explaining them, the child may lose interest in exploring that, and consequently conflict will be avoided.
- Recognize when your kids are doing things right. This is important to leave a positive imprint on them and keep them interested in doing the right thing.
How to say NO?
Sometimes it is very difficult to deny something that your children ask for, because it is thought that this is how we are seeking their well-being. The reality is that although you want to see your children happy, it is better to fulfill the role that corresponds to you and learn to say no when necessary.
When the child is responsible and limits are set, he receives the most important message of all: that you love him and that you are interested in what happens to him and that you are capable of knowing what needs and desires you must attend to. Respect is a value, yes, but it is also a meeting point between human beings with different perceptions.
Discipline yes, severity no
When talking to your child about his behavior – and the reasons that led him to have it – do not yell or turn the conversation into a fight, this will only make him become more disrespectful towards you.
Raising your voice doesn’t give you more authority, credibility, or respect, as many parents think. In fact, yelling only promotes fear and disobedience, and they drive your child away from you. Try to always speak calmly and take care of your gestures, tone of voice and what you say, because your children will also respond in the same way.
When your child contradicts you and replies in the middle of a conversation, you should do everything possible to explain to them that their way of answering is not the healthiest or correct. You as a parent should be the one to make a difference and teach them that there are more respectful ways to say the same thing but without being violent, aggressive or rebellious.
Although in some cases it is very difficult to put all this into practice, as a parent you must remain calm in the face of the child’s “rebellion”, because if you react in the same aggressive way it will only make the situation worse.
