The Single Mom’s Survival Guide
Have you just been through a divorce or will your child’s father not live with you and you have no idea what to do as a single mom? We know that this was probably not the situation you expected and that now you feel adrift.
That is why we have created a survival guide for the first few months. At this stage is when emotions are most negative and the feeling of being lost is greatest. Just remember that you are not alone and that you can always choose how to deal with the situation.
Connect with other single moms
As a single mom you will feel lost on many occasions. This is normal because most of the responsibilities will fall on you. That is why it is good to live with other single moms who help you, inspire you and accompany you.
These relationships will help you learn how they have dealt with the situation. They will give you tips, they will help you to get rid of doubts, they will accompany you when your mood is not the best and they will help you when you need it.
This is not to say that as a single mom you cut yourself off from the rest of your friends and family. But now you can expand that circle and get in touch with other women who experience the same doubts and fears.
With them you can talk about things that other people may not understand well because they have not lived.
Leave the story with your ex behind
There are many reasons why a woman becomes a single mom. If yours is the end of a love relationship, it is important that you take a step forward and leave this story in the past.
The first months after the divorce will be very painful and you will go through a wheel of emotions. Give yourself time to experience those feelings, but never badmouth your ex to your children. She thinks that he is still part of her life and will always be.
At first you will think that you do not have the capacity to continue but just give yourself some time to organize your new life. At this stage it will be difficult for you to see your ex when he visits your children but remember that it is his right, and obligation, so just cope.
Bring normalcy into your life soon
After a divorce or separation, you may find yourself eating only cereal and frozen food. Yes, we know that you feel depressed but the sooner you regain control, the sooner you will get ahead.
Your divorce or separation is over and your ex is no longer there. What you do have is responsibility for your children and for yourself, so create a new routine. Start preparing homemade food, go out to the park, get back to exercise, and spend time with your children.
They will notice if you spend all your time lamenting and forgetting about everything else. This will give them a host of negative feelings, even if they are very small. Think that your children need rules, order and a well structured home.
Embrace optimism
For you and your children you need to see life with optimism and enthusiasm. Think that they will see life and live it as they see you do it and it is very likely that you wish them a full and happy life, right? In that case, as a single mom you need to be ready to overcome any obstacles.
If you are optimistic your children will learn that although their parents are separated, their home is not broken. If you have more than one child, teach them that they are not alone and that they have each other. This will give them confidence and show them that you trust them.
In case you only have one child, you have the opportunity to teach him to be self-sufficient but do not forget to spend time with him.
Being a single mom is not the end of the world
Maybe your first thought when you see yourself as a single mom is that you won’t be able to handle it. Relax and for a moment don’t think about anything. Then more calmly begin to break down the situation and look at the situation from another perspective.
Forget about criticism, fights, and any other negative moments. Now they are of no use to you and what you need to focus on is the present. Do not see your new situation as the end of the world, but as a new challenge.
