Why Being A Permissive Parent Is Not A Good Idea

Excessive permissiveness during the first years of life can be counterproductive. In this article, learn about other ways to educate firmly, without losing affection.
Why being a permissive parent is not a good idea

A parent who doesn’t want any kind of confrontation with their children is a permissive parent, and being so is not a good idea. No parent likes to get angry with their children or that they have a bad time for any reason, but sometimes it is necessary to go through “this lesser evil” to achieve a “greater good.” In this article when you read “permissive father” think that he is also “permissive mother”.

Parents do not want to incite tantrums and of course no one wants to feel the negative emotions of anger, but it is very likely that if you think, you can tell an exact moment (not long ago) when you felt that way. But setting limits for children is absolutely necessary to allow them to have a good emotional and affective development.

Consequences of not setting limits

If a permissive parent is unable to set limits for their children, children will not develop the ability to tolerate frustration and will not be able to manage their own emotions, something that will undoubtedly cause emotional disturbances in the future.

If a permissive parent does not set limits at home, children will not have opportunities to develop self-discipline, they will have worse behavior and they will not know how to respond to life in society. .. they will end up being selfish, despotic people and without empathy towards others.

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Limits are essential

All parents need to understand that emotions must be taken into account for balanced child development. Not setting limits will imply a series of unwanted consequences for any family. 

Parents give in thinking there are no consequences

If a parent thinks it’s okay to give your child every whim he wants (which will not be few) only mourn .. not listen . the child will become an irritable and despotic child. In addition, he will not perform the tasks that correspond to him for his age because he will think that they do not correspond to him, since the permissive father has made him understand that others are there to satisfy his wishes, whatever they may be.

You will start to have self-esteem problems

A permissive parent may think that giving a child everything they want is the best way to keep them happy, but nothing is further from the truth, children need rules, limits and quality time with their parents to be happy. In addition, children with permissive parents will begin to have self-esteem problems because they will not know how to control their emotions as other children surely will.

Will have difficulty establishing relationships

As he will be a child who thinks that others must satisfy all his desires, he will have very serious problems in being able to relate properly with other people, be they family or friends. Your egocentric personality will not allow you to have healthy and stable relationships with other people, so having friends or love relationships could be completely difficult.

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Disappointment and sadness will be intolerable

A permissive parent will do almost anything so that their child doesn’t know the word disappointment or is never sad. But the problem is that when the child grows up, he will do the impossible not to have to go through disappointment or sadness, because he will be afraid of them. But both disappointment and sadness are normal in life and you have to learn to tolerate them in order to find the path to happiness, otherwise it will be a life full of stress and anxiety.

Some consequences of wanting to avoid disappointment and sadness at all costs will be avoiding any type of risk, taking negative behaviors for oneself, cheating to win … these people will never learn to feel comfortable noticing their feelings and will try to avoid them. 

Permissive parents don’t understand proper parenting style

Sometimes it is out of fear, but a permissive father must understand that he must protect the physical and emotional integrity of his child in the long term, and that Emotional Intelligence is very important to work on at home from the time the children are born . Permissive parents can let their children treat them badly or behave in an unacceptable way just by not standing up to them. This will make the rearing inappropriate.

The father and son relationship breaks down

When children have a permissive child-parent relationship, children will not be able to trust their parents because they will not be able to attend to their emotions adequately. When a child cannot trust his parents, he will not be able to respect them. Children need limits from a very young age to prevent them from becoming little tyrants.

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