You Will Grow In Our Arms And We Will Give You Roots So That You Fly High In Life

They say mothers and fathers don’t have to be porters. That children spoil themselves if they spend too much time in his arms. That life happens on the ground, because that is where the challenges lie. That is where we must all get up after falling.

Now, we are talking about children, not adults. In recent years we are seeing a curious interest in the fact that the little ones “learn quickly”. There are those who want their child to acquire literacy skills as soon as possible, to learn to swim. Or even more so, experience solid foods for yourself ahead of time …

The acceleration of stages does not bring good results. Not if the child does not demand it, not if he has not yet reached those sensitive periods that Montessori told us about. Because in reality, it is the parents themselves who must know the needs of their children to know what to offer them. Knowing how to intuit and knowing what to give at every moment is to guarantee success in parenting.

Children, far from what our own parents, friends or so-called parenting gurus tell us, need our arms to grow. Because the art of “well-raising” is in that place where hearts come together, where affection and security are conferred. I mean, close to mom and dad.

Next, we invite you to delve into the subject.

Raising in arms: the affectionate touch that helps to grow

Let’s start talking about that close upbringing, the one that seeks close, intimate and delicate contact. The “kangaroo mother” technique, for example, is vital for premature babies. This skin-to-skin union with the mother (and with the father) favors the activation of multiple neurobiological mechanisms to improve their adaptive responses.

In fact, it improves the rhythm of respiration, the flow of oxygen, and essential processes such as sucking and swallowing are stimulated. However, let’s look at more interesting aspects in detail.

Babies and children experience less pain

Premature babies are subjected to various medical procedures where they inevitably feel pain. However, the fact of being in the mother’s arms for various periods of time reduces that impact, that feeling.

• Likewise, a baby or an older child will always look for our arms when they feel fear, when something hurts, when they are not well. Far from seeing this as the reaction of a demanding child, it is necessary to accept reality.

• Physical contact reduces stress, calms fear, and provides adequate relaxation in pain-related neural circuits.

The safety of mom and dad’s arms improves self-esteem

Ignore it . Hugging a lot does not spoil. Caressing, kissing and giving encouragement does not give the world timid children. Offering our lap or letting them sleep in our arms when they are 5 or 6 years old is not “counterproductive” either. In fact, you will be building good roots in their emotional brain.

• The child who feels loved relies more on himself to explore, to discover.

• Children who have been close to their parents throughout their childhood become adults with better self-esteem.

• Allowing our son to hug us when he wants to, no matter how old he is, effectively creates “serious side effects.” You will raise people with a better self-concept, beings who value the emotional bond, adults capable of establishing bonds based on affection, care and respect.

I will give you wings to fly and roots to return

As parents, you want the best for your children. Far from being influenced by what others say or think, you should trust what your pediatrician tells you and also your instinct. It is curious to know, for example, that both the mother’s and father’s brains change with the arrival of the first child.

With books like “ Mommy’s Brain. How motherhood makes us smarter ”, we  discovered such fascinating facts as that both the brains of men and women experience greater neural connections.

• There is a joint purpose: to guarantee the survival and well-being of that new being. This implies that many of our purposes will change and we will be able to develop new skills.

• One of them is multitasking. You will both be able to do many things at the same time. Also, the level of oxytocin is going to permeate your brains. And even in the father’s, his testosterone level is going to be lowered to develop that need for care.

• Each of these characteristics, bring us closer to an essential need: to have our children close, very close . Why deny something that is so comforting to both children and parents?

It is worth keeping in mind. Parenting offers roots to our children. It gives them that pillar to which they will always return, where they identify themselves and where they found their strength and their breath to fly high in life.

As far as your dreams take you.